The Happiness Project Day 35- 78


Day 35 HP

You cannot fly, until you break that shell.

Day 42  : My essence

I am a bit out there in the way i look at religion and spirituality so bear with me lol.So when i was younger i thought trees and buildings could talk…not like humans of course but i thought everything had its own way of communicating and having its presence felt. By younger, this would be around my teen years lol so thats not very young…until i just realized i couldn’t say that in public lest they send me to a mental institution. I was reminded of this belief of mine by a book I’m reading now called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. On one of his talks on Super Soul Sunday he speaks of how everything in this world is more than what it looks like on the surface. How a simple chair is comprised of smaller molecules and particles and is 90% space in-between. How that space is what connects us all. Scientists will tell you that everything in this world has “space” in it. Eckhart says our thoughts are not who we really are but that space between your last thought and the next…that when you meditate you should stay in that space because in that space you are whole, connected, fulfilled and happy. I tried it and its helped me unwind when im stressed because in that space you really don’t need anything, you don’t think about anything…you just ARE (“I AM who I AM” God said to Moses). We are all connected in this space and everything in this world has that essence of “space”. So in his book he speaks of a painter called Van Gogh who painted a chair. I quote…”He looked and looked and looked. He sensed the Beingness of the chair. Then he sat in front of the canvas and took up the brush. The chair itself would have sold for the equivalent of a few dollars. The painting of that same chair today would fetch in excess of $25million…” So what makes the painting so valuable is the painters ability to interpret the essence of the chair and most people can relate to that and are intrigued by that essence as people are intrigued by flowers and doves…so anyway, before i lose you here lol…i thought to myself everything in the world has this “essence”. This essence speaks the truth and people can relate to it. Whatever is true to you and brings out your essence is where your happiness and maybe purpose lies. I then thought…i wonder where my essence is….Then i thought its probably in my talents…the things i do with absolutely no effort…the things that allow me to be creative (made in the image of a Creator)…the things that show my soul and that people can connect to,admire or be moved by. Every one of us on this planet has at least one thing we can do like that…its that thing that brings out our authenticity and truth…e.g singers, sports people, artists…etc And for me i guess its writing…so for my HP…writing makes me happy and its fulfilling to me that something i can do so easily can inspire and touch someone else. At some point before the years took over my bones and coordination, i was really good at dancing lol..i should probably continue to explore that during my morning dancing while dressing for work ritual…maybe bust some hard core moves here and there…i should probably record myself…while some of you may disagree about my dancing abilities, its all good…il be all up in that essence…thats all that matters lol.Guess for those who are trying out their own HP…u can ask yourself where “your essence” lies and keep doing that. It could really make a difference in the world…we see how sports moves people and connects people…this is simply people showcasing and sharing with the world what they can do best and people connect to that.
I have had a terrible cold the past 2 weekends so my 21km is on hold…hopefully i can run this weekend…i cannot wait for my half marathon…m itching to do it you have no idea…for someone who could fake an illness so she wouldn’t run in high-school, this is absolutely a miracle… for me this week its keep running, keep reading, keep writing…stay present…all the things that make me truly happy
#youressence #myessence #trustingtheprocess #HP

DAY 55  : Gratitude

I was bathing my daughter yesterday in a rush to make it in time for church. As i was drying her, i lifted her so she could stand so i could dry her better. When i lifted her to stand, she immediately clung onto me and said “…thank you mama for (bathing or loving) me..” She kept saying it over and over again while clinging onto me…she probably said it over 10 times. I couldn’t really hear if she was saying bathing or loving. It sounded like loving but iv never heard her say that word so maybe she was saying …thank you for bathing me. she said thank you mom…thank you…thank you for bathing/loving me…thank you…thank you. She said that as she continued to cling onto me and she was also tapping my back. She usually says thank you after i feed her or even bath her or dress her in what she likes…she generally says thank you a lot or gives me a casual thanks. You should hear her say it, its hilarious lol..but this was beyond her. It felt mature and heartfelt and she kept repeating it over and over again…I was overwhelmed in the moment and began to cry. I’m still overwhelmed, i can’t explain what that meant to me adequately in words. I’m sure a lot of mothers have had moments like that. Thank goodness no one saw me…can you imagine explaining to a worried face that you are balling your eyes out because your daughter said thank you for bathing me lol.
In that moment, nothing else mattered. I felt pure love.I literally felt i was getting a huuuugggeee hug from above. In that moment i felt grateful. Pure gratitude. I felt grateful for my little angel. I felt grateful for life. I was reminded i had a purpose….my daughter is my greatest teacher, the direct connection to my Creator. In that moment I was validated…thats all i needed to know.

Day 71: The power of Now

I am where I need to be. In this moment now…I will be where I would need to be in the next moment which will then b now…I was where I needed to be in the previous moment which was also now then. Now is where I am, now is the moment that matters…and now is my life… It will never be any other way as Einstein said time is only an illusion…waiting for tomorrow that will never come or living in yesterday that is already past…that now is really ALL there is. Living in the past or in the future only robs me of this serene moment. When I am here, right now, going through only the motions of what’s going on now, not what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow, I am complete, happy, at peace, living and fully participating in my life…

Day 71B : The power of Now


Sometime back I had a dream which I think I posted on FB. I dreamt that an animal stampede broke out and I was running as well…as I ran, somehow these animals started to chase me. In my dream I felt intense danger from these animals and I started to run away from them until I had the entire animal kingdom chasing me. I remember clearly seeing different types of animals. I ran until I was too exhausted to run. When I slowed down and ready to give up, I noticed that the animals were not really chasing me but running with me. I came face to face with a lion in that moment, I looked in its eyes and understood that these animals were for me, not against me. They were bowing before me. I remember this dream moving me but I couldn’t explain it in words…I was just reflecting on something tonight that made me remember my dream. That nothing is ever against you…and I mean this whole heartedly for those who might need this message in this moment…NOTHING is ever against you. Even the bad and chaos is all part of the plan. That in the lessons is where you find the gold and sometimes you have to face ur fears dead in the eye (the lion) to really have a clear picture of what’s going on. And when u surrender, really surrender to the moment….that’s where the magic is.
‪#‎hp‬ ‪#‎trustingtheprocess‬

Day 78 : Smelling the rosemary tea 🙂

I almost regretted declaring my happiness project because as soon as i did that, it seemed my “luck” ran out.Despite that, i do see now the significance to everything… Honestly, i have started to truly appreciate every moment of my life for what it is. I am learning a lot about myself, appreciating myself more, forgiving myself more and expecting more for and from myself.
When we take the time to get off the cycle of having a “trance” like life where our responses and actions are monotonous,conditioned and not authentic…where we have meaningless conversations and put up images of ourselves that we think will be more loved and accepted than the real person really is..its like a whole new world is opened. All of that external world becomes of no importance.
Our world is full of beauty and so much to give and receive when we really realize that each moment is sacred.There will never be a moment like that. So whatever goes on in that moment…good or bad is insignificant. Whatever pedestal of importance or hole of humility you put yourself in in your mind is insignificant. However the world looks at you is insignificant. The fact is there is no moment that will be like this moment. There will never be anyone in this world like you. No one will experience life the way you will and because God is in you, He lives and experiences life uniquely through you….as it is…sacredly through you. This time and this person reading is like no other. This time matters. I matter. You matter. There is no person more loved by God and there is no person less loved by God. We all have our unique contributions to the people we love, our communities and to ourselves. Its a burden living with expectations set for you or those you set for yourself that are really truly not you. Just be you…good and bad and those who really care will be there regardless.
This weekend my husband and I attended a function by Wakati Trust. Its an organization founded by very young women. They hold an annual award ceremony for “unsung” heroes and heroins. Something about this function touched me. To see how people of my age and younger can move mountains with whatever resources they have and to see what these people who won awards are doing by the little they have. And there i am thinking i have to be a millionaire to make a significance in the world. The guest speaker there was the CEO of Steward bank Dr Lance Shingai Mambondiani. He said something that struck a code. He spoke from his heart and said we all needed to contribute uniquely according to who we are to leave a mark in this world and no background can ever hold you back (he grew up in Chikanga…kughetto and his grandmother who sold tomatoes and vegetables helped to send him to school). I realized in that moment that we are our own enemies to our goals and dreams. You can never blame anyone for what you alone have not achieved. There will never be a more perfect moment to do what you really want and love than this moment. You will never be whole enough for your dreams than in this very moment that you decide otherwise. You will never be a better person than you are now in this moment and there is really nothing stopping you than yourself. Well done Wakati Trust, you have inspired me and God bless your future endeavors.
#Smelltherosemarytea #trustingtheprocess
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