HP Day 89 : To my mother “Bloom”
HP Day 94 : Connecting the dots
I have probably owned hundreds of notebooks in my lifetime where i write all sorts.I just love having them…i can never get enough of books to write in. I found one of my notebooks from the time i was in the US. I wrote my feelings in there. The first piece i wrote was on new years day 2009. I went through the things i wrote and im so grateful i wrote them. In the first piece i mention that “something” told me to document how i was feeling from that day. Didn’t know why i felt i had to write it and it had no significance in my life then. I never read that for the past 7 years until today…and i thought woooow….what i wrote answered so many questions i currently had and it gave me insight to myself and gave me some sort of peace of mind. I cant explain exactly what i mean in detail, but im sure the reason i wrote that was for this day…today… 7 years later…..connecting the dots.
Listen, im a HUGE believer that everything happens for a reason. I’m a HUGE believer in looking beyond the surface…whether it be life’s problems…life’s successes…relationships….every moment has a purpose and some that don’t make sense in the moment might make sense a 100 years later. My emotional account 7 years ago actually brought a lot of healing for me today. I then remembered Steve Jobs speech on connecting the dots. I have read it so many times. Here is a link to it.
So one lesson i learnt from my emotional account in my notebook was that when life repeats itself….stop…listen and learn. Some can relate to me when i say when some things happen more than once in your life, its makes you think…”wait a minute. What am i missing here. How can this tragic thing happen to me twice…or thrice or four times…” It always seems too much for one lifetime. There is a lesson and chance for growth in any difficult situation and if it happens more than once, thats a way of life telling you to pay attention more.. especially inwardly. That our outer life reflects our inner life. God existed before the earth and He made the world out of words…He had a vision and out of His words (vision/ thoughts…invisible world) he created the world. Every object on this planet came out of the mind. People envisioned it and thought about it first and then invented it. So in this way, we invent our own lives. What we dwell on in our minds and hearts, can be created into form or reality. If you hold on to your past, you might be very well be doing it at the expense of your future. If you want to know whats in your heart and mind…look around you. If you lack somewhere physically, you probably are lacking something spiritually. Jesus says in the Lords prayer..”Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven…” What happens on earth, first happens in heaven…what happens in form, first happens spiritually or mentally.This is my own personal understanding to his words.
The truth is there are just some things that people should never go through more than once but many people who experience such tragedy will probably face it again and again…in a different way…maybe a different face or situation but the core problem is exactly the same. This is enough i think to warrant some self reflection. This doesn’t mean you deserve it or that you are responsible for what others do to you. This just empowers you to realize that you do have a choice to free yourself from whatever “bondage” seems to follow you. This goes for if you find yourself constantly complaining that people keep treating you a certain way…take you for granted for example….if everyone is treating you like this then maybe you are allowing it because you really don’t know your worth and you keep allowing people like that to be in your life for example. So the power comes back to you and then you have power to break the “chain”.
#connectingthedots #trustingtheprocess #stayhungry #stayfoolish
Day 107 HP : De-clutter…and smile
Day 125 HP : Your Phenomenon
Day 150 HP : The internal compass
Today I thought of what this lady who specializes in mental health once told me. She said the eyes do not see, they allow light in for the brain to perceive and thats why we cannot see in the dark. I did science in high school…and im sure iv learnt this in a scientific technical way…but the way she said it made me realize how much wonder there is to the human body and how much more is beyond the eye. Sometimes i live in a world where i see so much magic when i allow myself to be in tune with the magic…and i think everyone has that capacity…to see the world beyond form. For example, I am constantly fascinated by water…it has no adequate mental conception…we know the science behind water existing but if you really look at water, you realize it has more of a spiritual quality than anything else. It has the power to move and carry virtually anything…carries ships, can wash away houses, people, animals, huge trees…then it has power to give life and nourish..it has power to cleanse and heal…yet its so light and so still and transparent. Now look at the wonder of your own body..what it does on the surface and the silent intelligence beneath it for it to function…all those cells…your heart beating…your lungs breathing..your fingers moving…even science alone has not been able to fully explore the body and its wonder….i wont even go to the wonder of endless space and the universe beyond the planet earth…there is just undeniable magic to say the least. Why are we then so consumed in the “smaller” aspect of our lives…in our little box when there is obviously something bigger happening. This is not to dismiss anything that is of importance in your life but rather to make you realize that there is so much more to your life, your problem and even your happiness.
One of the things i expected when starting this happiness project was to find all the answers externally…maybe find this happiness that is out there, waiting to be found hamenowo ikoko…my happiness was quantifiable..but everyday has taken me in a different route…its taken me back to myself. And where is this me? Certainly not in my mind or thoughts, coz my thoughts are waaaay smaller than who i really am. Everyone has thoughts…thoughts are really just a conditioned way of responding to information and stimuli…if your background and life experiences were different, you would have different thoughts therefore thoughts are not authentic..they are just a carbon copy of your history, environment and society…4 people will have different thoughts about the exact same situation and that alone should make us see that truth “in our thoughts” is only but half truth…its not absolute. We are entitled to our truth and entitled to value our way of life but its so relative, tomorrow it might be different….so why kill because of a thought?…why hit someone else because of a thought?…why judge someone to be of less value than you because of a thought?
Certainly the real me is not in my heart or emotions or passions…not in any physical aspect of what constitutes me, which is only a tiny tiny aspect of the whole. But rather…i think, i now realize…im my SOUL…in lack of a better word to describe this dimension of who i am. Its that part of me that is still…that is content…that knows…that part of me when God is not “out there” but God is in me and when i am Him…the part that knows all there is, is love and abundance…that part that always just KNOWS even when my heart is pounding in fear and my body is shaking or sweating in uncertainty or my thoughts or mind is confused and swirling in all sorts of direction of whys, hows, whens, that are always subject to change…that part that knows amidst all that, that everything is ok, that everything will be ok and always will be ok…that all phases in life have EQUAL weight and that they all have purpose and ALL are good..just as God saw the world when he created it…it was good.That part of me that can never change and that is timeless…the part that will continue even after im physically gone…everyone has that part and that part is the real me and the real you and our duty in life is to serve that part..thats is us and essentially that part is God.That’s where our true identity lies and its as vast and unbound as space…the wonder and magic of the tangible world…our bodies…water..air..flowers..space..nature..moon and stars..is all an expression of that part of us that is in everything..Our bodies, our personalities, our thoughts and creativity…is just a small part of who we are therefore differences in those things should not matter coz essentially at the core, we are all the same. That “soul” is a part of God expressing Himself through you and once we understand…deeply understand that we all have that part in us, just expressed differently…really, why should anything else matter? Any lack, any pain is due to being out of touch with that part of us because essentially when you are in touch with it, you know…you just know you are abundant, you are eternal…not even death can touch you…you are worthy, you are capable and you are beyond…you are absolutely out of this world…divine magic!!!!
#stilllearning #trustingtheprocess #divinemagic #thetruth